Divorce can often leave a bad taste in the mouth. In fact, it is probably fair to say that most cases leave people a little jaded. After all, if a couple get on really well and sort everything amicably, then perhaps they didn’t need to divorce in the first place.
As family lawyers, we can help make the process as painless as possible. A relationship split doesn’t have to be expensive with the correct advice and both sides taking a pragmatic view to sorting out the details. It doesn’t have to be acrimonious, if the parties adopt a calm approach and don’t go out of their way to aggravate one another. It doesn’t have to be (overly) traumatic for the children if they are set firmly at the centre of all considerations, as they should be.
However, there are many people out there who say “never again”. The emotional upheaval is too much and some decide that once up the aisle is enough. It seems though that men and women do have a different outlook on this.
A study published at the end January revealed that divorced men are twice as likely to remarry as divorced women, with 47 per cent keen to tie the knot again after a failed marriage. In comparison, just 20 per cent of female divorcees say they would ever say “I do” again.
The study of 2,000 adults - carried out to mark the DVD release of rom-com Crazy, Stupid, Love - suggests divorced men are also far more committed to finding love again. More are prepared to use dating websites and some would not be opposed to using professionals to help them brush up on their chat up lines.
My experience is that men do tend to be able to detach themselves more easily from the emotional heartache of a split and so are therefore more likely to look to finding happiness in the future: one failure doesn’t mean the end. Conversely, with women it is a bit more “once bitten, twice shy”. However, in this day and age with second, third and even fourth marriages not uncommon, I am surprised the gap between the sexes shown in the survey is so pronounced.
For anyone finalising a divorce, the best way to feel more confident about looking to the future is to ensure everything is signed off and settled on the previous chapter divorce. Whether this is a Contact Order relating to children, or Clean Break Order drawing a line under the division of assets and finances, being confident that “all that is behind you” can leave you free to look to the future and the possibility of new love.
Andrew Woolley
Family solicitor