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How to get a divorce Posts

Tuesday August 31, 2010 at 4:21pm
I’d like to think that the announcement last week that Tiger Woods and estranged wife Elin Nordegren have divorced would bring to an end the carnival that has surrounded the pair ever since the bizarre incident that saw him crash his car outside their home in November last year. I fear it won’t though and the whole sorry episode, in my opinion, has been a disaster, not just for the couple, but also for the image of pre-nuptial agreements. A joint statement confirmed the divorce has b....
Saturday August 28, 2010 at 3:13pm
Divorce doesn’t have to be expensive. When I first started on this “divorce doesn’t have to be…” track a few weeks ago, I mentioned the fact that the cost of ending a marriage does not need to be excessive. Some people still cite cost as a reason not to get divorced, which is just madness. If a person is desperately unhappy, in an abusive relationship or does not believe a relationship can be saved, money should not be a barrier to them changing their life for the ....
Friday August 27, 2010 at 6:44am
 I blogged last year about an ongoing divorce case involving two brothers who had used what they considered to be damning financial documents from their brother-in-law’s computer to help in their sister’s divorce case. They claimed the documents, held on a computer, showed the estranged husband was not giving full financial disclosure and had “hidden” assets.At that time, the case was ongoing. It has now moved on and the ruling is in. And the landmark decision from t....
Monday August 23, 2010 at 5:13pm
The States has to be applauded for moves to take the blame out of divorce. It will never work though. Blame starts in a divorce long before you get to the nuts and bolts of how the divorce process works. A rule change is unlikely to change that. A law package of bills was signed last week, including one that makes New York one of the last states to allow couple sot dissolve marriages by mutual consent. The no-fault divorce bill allows a couple to dissolve the marriage by mutual consent and witho....
Sunday August 15, 2010 at 6:51pm
Technology is a wonderful thing. I have said this many times before. It is something most people cannot do without these days, from mobile phones, to handheld computers, laptops, sat-navs, streaming videos and internet calls. As a business it is an invaluable tool. Woolley & Co was built on the use of emerging communications technology to better stay in contact with clients, improve transparency with pricing on our website and services sold directly from there, and speed the sending of vital....
Tuesday August 10, 2010 at 9:19pm
I was horrified to read in the news this week of the three young children found dead at their house “with suspicious injuries”. Eight-year-old twins Augustino and Gianluca Riggi and their sister, Cecilia, five, were found at the Edinburgh townhouse after emergency services were called to reports of a possible gas explosion. Their mother, Theresa Riggi, 46, was taken to hospital after being found on the ground outside the flat, having apparently jumped from a second floor balcony. The....
Friday August 6, 2010 at 2:51pm
Thousands of people will be heading to churches, marquees, hotels – as well as woods, stone circles, town halls and beaches most likely – this weekend to celebrate someone’s happy day. Whether it is their own, family, friends, colleagues or distantly known acquaintances looking to make up the numbers, any given Saturday in August is likely to be immortalised for a host of people. You could be forgiven for asking the question why though. There seems to be a sudden glut of weddin....
Wednesday August 4, 2010 at 9:32am
Some of the things I say don’t make me popular with my peers. Sometimes I think I only get away with them because I am, in seniority if nothing else, in charge at Woolley & Co and often speak at Law Society events on innovation. Sometimes it seems that some people can hesitantly nod in agreement while what they’re really thinking is: “What on earth is he saying?” I head up a family law firm but I think divorce is bad and should be avoided wherever possible. ....
Friday July 30, 2010 at 9:22pm
OK, you have the pension CETV and are persuaded it is the appropriate valuation to use. Like my last Blog on CETVs, this article is mainly for lawyers from other firms who do not specialise in family law and who need some basic guidance on this complex area. If you are not a lawyer, this article on pensions and divorce is likely to be more helpful. The next step is to consider what % of the pension rights should go to whom. It is not an easy question!I suppose it might be assumed that the obviou....
Friday July 30, 2010 at 2:54pm
I’m a big fan of the Vicar of Dibley. Shame they’re not making any new ones now. Funny, gentle, inoffensive – bit like the impression I have of its writer and star Dawn French, though I have never met her. Over the years, I have also liked a lot of what Lenny Henry has done – though I think perhaps he peaked too early with Tiswas in the late 1970s. For years, these two modern-day pillars of British comedy were pillars of a modern-day family – married, apparently hap....
Monday July 26, 2010 at 7:58pm
Obviously, in a divorce case where the pension is seen as relevant (and, to my mind, that is almost always) a valuation would be needed. But then there is a need to properly understand the valuation! I pause at this point to say that this article is mainly for lawyers from other firms who do not specialise in family law and who need guidance on this complex area. If you are not a lawyer, this article on pensions and divorce is likely to be more helpful. Of course, the prescribed ....
Monday July 26, 2010 at 4:20pm
Some people wait for years. For others, they leap into it with both feet after having only known their soon-to-be other half for a short while. I’d never thought there was any prescription for when was the right time to take the plunge, pop the question and walk up the aisle. It seems I was wrong. Psychologist and relationship manager Dr Pam Spurr believes she has identified a “golden window” of opportunity for couples to get married. Miss the window by going too soon, and you ....
Friday July 23, 2010 at 10:02pm
Divorce can be very taxing Surprisingly to many people, there are actually quite a few tax implications of the ending of a marriage or civil partnership. Many are also surprised to hear that, for income tax purposes, the relevant tax year of change is the year in which the people separated and not when the actual divorce went through. A ”snapshot” of some of the issues would include: Any tax credits sorted out during the marriage or civil partnership need to be reassessed ....
Friday July 23, 2010 at 4:02pm
I’m feeling a little bit revolutionary. I think it’s time for a change. Something is blowing in the wind. Working together, we can change the world, and all that. The way people divorce needs to change. Over the length of time I have been doing these blogs, and some time before, I have talked about a whole host of changes that would make the separation process better, from no fault divorce, to pre-marriage counselling and compulsory mediation before a divorce can be agreed. Most rece....
Tuesday July 20, 2010 at 4:30pm
It is something we have all heard of, but is it a myth or is it prevalent? We are doing some research to find out. Have you or anyone you know stayed married for the sake of the children? My perception is that a generation or so ago this was relatively common. Couples did stay together, no matter what. Wives and husbands were more likely to remain in unloving marriages for a number of reasons: a feeling that there is no other option, fear of the unknown, or simply because it was the done thing a....
Friday July 16, 2010 at 10:05am
We British aren’t very good at negotiating. This is a generalisation but also a generally held belief. Just look at the Money Supermarket ad running on television at the moment with comedian Omid Djalili mocking the English inability to haggle. Many a true word…. Negotiating can save a fortune if you just have the cheek to make an offer. Divorce is not necessarily different. Going to a divorce solicitor does not necessarily mean going to court. Many couples going through a divorce d....
Wednesday July 14, 2010 at 11:05am
A fellow blogger made the interesting point recently that “a divorce is just like a wedding, only more honest”. Does that then mean that lawyers should be viewed in a better light than ministers?! No, I doubt it either. It does make you think though. Should the (traditional, stereotypical) wedding vows be amended to read “love, honour, obey and be honest”? Individuals do get swept up in the whole romance of getting married. For some – and I am not saying it is a hug....
Friday July 9, 2010 at 5:04pm
Money is the root of all evil, the saying goes. Some might say that is an over-statement. Many would not. However, when it comes to divorce, sorting out the finances can bring out the very worst in people, making an already tricky situation highly volatile. A financial settlement needs to take into account many different aspects, including any property, possessions, back accounts, savings, stocks and shares, and pensions. Also, any business interests may need to be included. Just putting a value....
Wednesday July 7, 2010 at 10:39am
I guess it is only human nature to worry about money. But it still does strike me as unusual sometimes the importance people assign to the cost of a divorce. It comes ahead of how the process works, what will happen to the children and division of assets. So someone decides that they can no longer stay with the person they pledged to stay with forever when walking down the aisle. Or, if they’re not married but have been together for some time, someone with whom they may have bought a house....
Friday July 2, 2010 at 7:19am
My last blog got me thinking. That's a new one. I do generally think about these pearls of wisdom before I take finger to keyboard, but the last offering had me thinking on the topic a bit more deeply. We were talking about how to tell children about divorce and I suggested some guidelines which I hope could help make a difficult situation slightly easier for any offspring involved. Ultimately though, it is still going to be heartbreaking for them and in many cases made worse by that fact that s....
Thursday July 1, 2010 at 10:27pm
Nick Clegg has today asked us all to help the Government make divorce better.  You can see the Family Justice Review Panel they have set up, here. This could be a very complex subject, so to keep things clear I set out below some quick thoughts. 1. “Take the fault and blame out of divorce”. We hear this a lot and it seems to be blamed upon the absence of “no fault divorce”. Where does that phrase come from? The present law is not about fault but about grounds. If ....
Tuesday June 29, 2010 at 4:28pm
HELP! Please. Our family solicitors are constantly frustrated by misunderstanding and misinformation – much of it I have to say fed by American TV and films and the British media. If I had a pound for every time someone as contacted my firm believing one of these three most common myths I’d be a rich man. Myth 1 - Getting a divorce means going to Court. No it doesn’t. Getting a divorce is a very simple process. You have to file papers at Court certainly – but this can be ....
Tuesday June 29, 2010 at 10:22am
There are many upsetting things about working in family law. You see the pain and upset warring couples cause each other, the wider family relationships affected forever and, sometimes, courts hearing about all manner of family details you would think shouldn’t be aired in public. However, in my view, the effect that divorce has on children, particularly younger ones rather than those who have flown the nest, ranks as the most painful thing about divorce. If the children are younger, they ....
Friday June 25, 2010 at 7:04am
 Woolley & Co is an unusual law firm – for a start we only do family law. Our lawyers work from a home office base and are given full flexibility to work and see clients when and where they want. But that’s not what makes us really different. Our difference is that we genuinely want to change the way couples’ divorce, to remove some of the barriers (like the concept of blame in divorce) and to minimise the disruption to the family. You might think we are idealists or t....
Monday June 21, 2010 at 11:14am
We often talk of people being affected by divorce, but now there’s a warning that we can be infected by it as well! It’s not about physical health, or catching something truly nasty, though there is ample evidence to suggest people can be made physically ill when a difficult divorce takes its toll. What we are being told is that, socially, having close friends or family divorce can rub off on you. A study by boffins at the University of California, in San Diego, has apparently reveal....
Thursday June 17, 2010 at 8:25am
 You never see Brazil doing it. Or the Germans. Or the Italians. But England? The minute our highly-paid superstars pull on the three lions shirt and have the eyes of the world on them on the football pitch, they demonstrate just how prone they are to shooting themselves in the foot. Often their own feet are the only thing they seem capable of hitting when they shoot. I’m not a huge football fan and yet I was starting to get swept along with the optimism that another World Cup campaig....
Monday June 14, 2010 at 2:56pm
There are few absolute rights in life, though the Americans have done their best by creating a Bill of all the ones they could think of. So it is difficult to understand why people think they have cast-iron rights when it comes to divorce and separation. You will still hear a distraught parent talk about their right to see their son or daughter (I did this week and it got me thinking about this topic), but the apparent rights of the parents when dealing with children are not what the authorities....
Monday June 7, 2010 at 9:26am
 As a couple gets older, they might reasonably expect life to slow down slightly and to spend time enjoying each others company. The kids have grown up and moved out so the house might seem a little big and empty but the resulting improvement in disposable income and quality of life more than compensates for many couples. Not everyone though. For some, the kids might have been the glue that kept them together. Or the job that goes when one or the other retires might leave a void. Or the (ve....
Tuesday June 1, 2010 at 11:15am
Reports bounced around over the last few days use the phrase quickie divorce again. Regular readers will know this is a pet hate of mine. The media and the wider public at large just don’t get it. For the, record, one last time, and with feeling – there is no such thing as a quickie divorce, no matter how famous you are or how much money you have. The so called quickie is simply a divorce that starts straight away and is not contested so the paperwork speeds through. It will still ta....
Friday May 28, 2010 at 4:10pm
It is often the little things that can bring situations to a head. Admittedly, sometimes it’s the equivalent of invading Poland that sets in motion a chain of events, but more often than not it is the clothes left on the floor, toothpaste squeezed around the sink or the toilet seat up. So this is a warning to couples ahead of the World Cup: don’t let football be the decisive penalty in an emotional shootout. Divorce lawyers – me not included – are rubbing their hands at t....
Saturday May 22, 2010 at 9:00am
There are lots of reasons to get married of course, mostly emotional or even spiritual. I have some vague memories of law school when it used to be a reason to get married to get a significant tax allowance. But romance has hit the heights again in the Inland Revenue and marriage can save significant amounts of inheritance tax. How romantic is that?! It applies to civil partnerships and married couples. It is worth considering especially if you are of a certain age. The Direct Gov website....
Friday May 21, 2010 at 5:14pm
Those researchers have been at it again. Finally they claim to have discovered the secret to a happy marriage. And is it down to the man – being miserable. How this works in civil partnerships, I don’t know but for your average married couple, they are less likely to divorce if the man of the house doesn’t enjoy himself too much. You can add in your own jokes here about lives being made a misery and grumpy old men, but the study looked at tens of thousands of couples in Britain....
Friday May 21, 2010 at 8:43am
The media often campaigned in the past for the family and divorce Courts to be open to reporting.  In the past they were totally closed. Of course, nobody would want to see children identified, it is often said. How true could that be if they are the children of celebrities who seem to divorce very regularly and often much more spectacularly than the majority? The last government "opened up the Courts" and allowed media access with safeguards. But there were problems from the st....
Thursday May 20, 2010 at 4:55pm
A new study by the LSE shows that men who do little housework are in very much greater danger of divorce. Is this stating the obvious?  I read in comment in The Times online that people thought it was. It does look obvious. But isn't there a very big difference between knowing the obvious and doing something about it? I do wonder if the housework is sort of incidental, it could be anything that shows the female partner that she is valued, being noticed and thought about perhaps? I say this....
Wednesday May 12, 2010 at 4:01pm
So the results are in and the deals are done. All that remains now is to see some policies. The Dave and Nick show has gone live and they have bound themselves together for five years, as if about to embark upon a marathon three-legged race. At least that means there will be no secret on when the next general election will be. First Thursday in May, 2015. You heard it here first. They could end up tripping each other up though. Despite my reservations, I do have high hopes of something positive ....
Tuesday May 11, 2010 at 1:27pm
So after all the hype, here we are, no further forward. Perhaps even two steps back. I don’t think too many of us are surprised at the “result”. It was almost inevitable that the election would lead to a hung Parliament but still I held out hope we might get a decisive vote, rather than a score draw. Not to be. The constant news coverage continues with the political commentators seemingly about to wet themselves with excitement, or so it has seemed at some points over the last ....
Friday May 7, 2010 at 9:58pm
As I write this, the results from the general election are still being discussed. It looks like Conservatives will try to form a government. What this means for the family issues that each party has promised, pledged or alluded to, is unclear. I think I’ll wait until the dust settles a bit before having my say on that, so watch this space. But I did have the idea that this was quite a timely point to set down a type of manifesto of my own. Well, perhaps less a manifesto and more a six-poin....
Tuesday May 4, 2010 at 4:02pm
There is nothing more frustrating than collective wisdom. I guess that’s a posh phrase for it, but I am referring to an idea that someone clings to as an absolute because lots of people believe it - or someone has told an individual that it is true and they pass it on to others. The reality is that it is often not worth the paper it’s not written on. After all, rumours survive and Chinese whispers are bound by these same rules – but they have no basis in law. Take for example, ....
Tuesday April 27, 2010 at 9:35am
It is unfortunate that the divorce process is so heavily process driven. Like most things linked to the law, there is protocol to be followed, records to be kept, applications to be filed and papers to be served. Sometimes it can seem a bit like letter-writing tennis as representatives for the two camps exchange views and crawl slowly towards agreement – or at least a position that both can live with going forward. When I established Woolley & Co in 1996, I wanted to do what I could to....
Wednesday April 21, 2010 at 3:48pm
There is one ground for dissolution of a civil partnership: the partnership has irretrievably broken down. To establish irretrievable breakdown the court has to be satisfied on one of the four facts laid down in CPA 2004: •the respondent has behaved in such a way that the petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the respondent •the parties have lived apart for a continuous period of at least two years and the respondent consents to a dissolution order being made •the ....
Tuesday April 13, 2010 at 2:02pm
Custody and access must be among the most misunderstood terms in family law – because they don’t officially exist any more. They used to of course, before the Children Act changed the terminology. But the 20th anniversary of that particular piece of legislation has been “celebrated” over the last couple of weeks and it is quite amazing that two words have stuck so strongly in the public’s consciousness, still bandied around 20 years after being replaced with “....
Wednesday April 7, 2010 at 3:04pm
In the old days, when I started off as a specialist divorce lawyer, everybody knew where they stood when they wanted a divorce. 1. They went to a solicitor2. They had to go to Court about the divorce itself let alone the financial divorce settlement Mind you, they didn't know how much it would cost! And the going to Court is the really expensive bit. Happily things are now different, except for the cost of Court. But almost all of our clients are helped by us to avoid a physical Court app....
Tuesday March 30, 2010 at 9:44am
“Divorce shopping” is a relatively new term to many. It relates to where a couple – or individual – looking to divorce and who can potentially do so in a number of countries, researches where they might get the best deal before starting proceedings. So if an English man is married to Spanish lady and they are living in Italy, there are at least three sets of rules they could look at to see where they will bag a bargain. Now the EU is looking to bring in new regulation to ....
Thursday March 25, 2010 at 8:11am
"Sue the bitch", might well be the understandable reaction from wives towards a mistress, especially if she targetted the well off husband for seduction as we increasingly hear of. So far as I am aware, it isn't possible in English law to do so but it certainly is in the US where one mistress has to pay £6 million in damages to the upset wife. It appears the mistress had indeed targetted the husband. The subsequent break-up "devastated" the wife and indeed their childr....
Tuesday March 23, 2010 at 9:42am
There was an interesting column in the Guardian last week which has got me thinking a lot about the real reasons behind relationship break-ups. In it, columnist Zoe Williams suggests that there is no great myth behind why people – and especially celebrities – split up. This is not a creation of “Broken Britain” nor are pampered celebrities more likely to get divorced than anyone else. It is simply the case that it is normal for people to fall out and break up. Those manag....
Monday March 22, 2010 at 9:29am
We all hear, it seems daily, about yet another "celebrity divorce" or the make believe "quickie divorce" they often claim to obtain. We hear about the agonising over whether the settlement should be £200million or £300million. What a hard life and tough case that must be! Let's have a look at a more normal case, we'll call them John and Sarah and make them Mr & Mrs Middle England, perhaps our typical client. It is Sarah who comes in to see us. John (we are tol....
Friday March 19, 2010 at 3:32pm
There is a temptation for us lawyers to judge other lawyers based mainly upon their technical legal ability. “She’s a good lawyer” (or not) is often heard. What do we know? Yes, us lawyers can judge if another lawyer has excellent legal knowledge as we are qualified to know. But what is the real test of a good lawyer? What effects do we have when dealing with a divorce or other family law issue? Should it not be our clients who have the say in whether we are a good lawyer or no....
Monday March 15, 2010 at 5:11pm
Having children is not a cheap business. I don’t think many people would claim that they were left better off after their offspring were born. What is less obvious is the additional stress that having twins can bring upon a couple, as demonstrated in the results of a new study out this week showing parents who have twins, triplets or young children very close together are more likely to divorce. The University of Birmingham research team analysed the annual Family Resources Survey for 2004....

 

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