Children FAQs

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Q. Do I have rights to see my grandchildren?

A.

My son and his ex have split up and she is not allowing my son to see his son. I have been trying to negotiate between the two of them and for a while we were involved with my Grandson and got to see him when we asked but now she does not answer my calls when i enquire how my grandson is and I get the feeling she no longer wants us in his life either. What can I do?

Answer:
Thank you for your enquiry about the problems you are having in maintaining contact with your grandson.

It seems you are caught somewhat in the middle of the dispute between your son and daughter-in-law and it may be that she sees you only in the terms trying to help your son achieve good contact. It might be sensible to approach her on the basis that you do not want to take sides, that you are merely trying to maintain a relationship with your grandson and that whilst they are sorting out their differences, you will ensure that any contact you have with him is just with you and not with your son. Whilst you may find this very difficult, it may be the key to you re-establishing contact with your grandson whilst his parents try to come to a mutually acceptable arrangement.

If your daughter in law still will not allow you any contact then you may find yourself having to take further steps. The legal system recognises the importance of grandparents and offers an opportunity to apply through the court system for a contact order if necessary. Grandparents do not have an automatic right to make that application and you would have to apply to the court for permission to do so but provided that you could show that you have had a meaningful and close relationship with your grandson then the court is likely to grant you permission and you will then be able to go on and pursue your application for contact.

We can advice on this complex area of the law.  Solicitor Judith Buckland is our expert in this field.  Call Judith on 0845 680 1651 or email Judith here.

Judith provides answers to Legal Questions on the website Glorious Grandchildren.

Q. If I have parental responsibility for my child do I automatically have contact rights?

A. Although parental responsibility gives you certain legal rights in relation to the upbringing of your child and gives you some rights in terms of seeing them it does not automatically give you the right to contact them or have them visit of stay with you. If you cannot agree this amicably with your partner you will need to apply for a Contact Order from the courts.

There is more detail in our article – Parental Responsibility and contact orders – the same thing?

Q. I’ve got parental responsibility so why am I told I can’t have access to my children?

A.

Parental responsibility does not really sort out the issue of access (now known as 'contact' in legal circles).

From your question it seems, your ex-spouse is the one preventing access.  If you cannot discuss this with them and come to an agreement then you will have to appeal to the Courts to make a contact Order.  A Contact Order is legally binding and your ex-spouse will be required to cooperate with contact.  Anyone with children, going through a divorce or separation should really take advice from a family lawyer on the issue of child contact and residence, before agreeing anything with their spouse.   You can book a free initial appointment with a family lawyer here.

Q. I cannot afford the CSA demands what can I do?

A. A number of assessments made by the CSA are incorrect.  You should check carefully all the information used by the CSA to make their assessment, especially income.  You are legally bound to pay the amount requested by the CSA until such a time as your circumstances change.  The organisation NACSA offer a to check your assessment for a small subscription fee to their service.  This is often much more cost effective than involving a lawyer initially.

Q. If I leave will I be allowed to see my children?

A. The starting point is that contact with both parents is desirable, and likely to be in the child’s best interests, unless there have been allegations of, for example, abuse or neglect. If you cannot agree a sensible pattern of contact with your spouse/partner, you can ask the court to step in and make an order. The court will take into account a number of factors, called the “welfare checklist” to decide whether contact is in the child’s best interests. Such factors include the child’s own wishes and feelings and age. Clearly, contact needs to be age appropriate, and if the child is very young, it might be sensible to increase the level of contact gradually.

Q. How much child maintenance will I get?

A. If you have children who live with you, you will be entitled to receive maintenance for their benefit from the non-resident parent. The amount will depend on the Child Support Agency’s guidelines. You can decide whether to use the CSA or agree a figure privately.

For more details, you may wish to look at the CSA website www.csa.gov.uk

Q. Can the children still live with me?

A. Usually if the children are settled with a particular parent, who is their primary carer, the courts will be reluctant to disturb the status quo except in extreme cases, such as where there have been allegations of domestic violence or child abuse.

The court does have the power to make orders determining when the child will see his or her parents (contact) and where the child will live (residence) if there is a dispute. Normally, the courts operate a “no order” principle, which means that they will not interfere by making an order unless doing so is in the child’s best interests.

Q. Can the biological father of our child take him away from us?

A. The full question:  Myself and my girlfriend conceived our baby with the help of a male friend. He promised he wouldn’t want to be involved with the baby but now is demanding to see him on his own. Can he take our baby away from us?

The first thing you have to acknowledge is that this man is the child’s biological father, and this will never change. He does have the right to make applications for Contact via the Courts. The biological father can apply to the Court at any time for a Contact Order, be it now, or in five or ten years time.

It is very difficult for me to speculate as to the likely outcome of any Application. What I will say, is that I am almost certain that he could not take your baby away from you. You are your baby’s main carers and the court would have to have grave concerns about your ability as parents to even consider the possibility of this man taking over. We regularly advises couples on parental responsibility issues, call us on 0800 3213832 or email us with your full details.

Sorry we do not handle legal aid or publicly funded cases.

Q. As soon as I mentioned divorce to my husband he said he'd stop paying to support our children. Help!

A. As the courts no longer have the power to award maintenance for children it might be better to consider a separation agreement before obtaining a divorce. Such an agreement can include provision for child maintenance, and is enforceable through the courts. Once you have such an agreement you can obtain a divorce afterwards.

Q. If I agree to a divorce from my wife, will she automatically get custody of our children?

A. Custody and access no longer exist in legal terms. The court can no longer award custody of children to either parent, or order the parent who has the day-to-day care of the children to allow access to the other parent.

Instead the court has the power to make certain orders which may affect where the children live, how frequently you see them and so on. These orders will only need to be used if you cannot agree with your partner. The first step should be to try and come to an amicable agreement with your partner. If this is not possible you may wish to apply for a Residence or Contact order to secure your rights to contact with your children. Your lawyer can arrange this for you.