Sunday 3rd January 2010
Woke up feeling really tired, didn't sleep at all well - woke up 3 or 4 times - I'm worried about it all, money, house, kids, work, and all our future. The more tired I get the worse I feel about it all. Really worrying again, have hardly eaten today, but on a positive note the weight's dropping off!
Emma goes out more than ever now, I'm worried about her. I need to seek teenage advice.
Monday 4th January 2010
When is it going to end. Spent most of last night arguing with Dave. Tried to keep it together so that the kids don't hear us but it's difficult.
I've rang my old job today and agreed I'd go back to work doing about 20 hours a week. At least it's a start. I have an interview on the 6th January, can't wait, positive result. My rollercoaster is on the up today.
Had a good chat with my dad too - feel good!
Tuesday 5th January 2010
Hey good morning! The job front's put me in a good mood, things are looking forward and upward, much better. I feel I've achieved things. Got an appointment at the bank, really glad we didn't have a joint account.
Rang the mortgage company this afternoon. Got some really good advice and help from the bank and sorted out an overdraft and tidied bank up too.
So feeling really good and Jack just gave me a really big cuddle and told me he loved me.
Wednesday 6th January 2010
Well it’s interview day today. Didn’t sleep, decided I need to go and see the doctor and get a check over.
I’ve decided I can work 25 hours. Good start – got the job so one job done, ten to go! I won’t have to sort out childcare which is better for Jack at this time.
Emma’s ok today as well.
Thursday 7th January 2010
Started back at work today. They rang me last night to see if I’d work, great to be back at work, I’m starting to feel a little bit better today.
Spoke to Michelle today, she kindly gave me a good Divorce solicitors address so I’ve rang and made an appointment. So here we go, my emotional rollercoaster is going smoothly at the moment, but I need to sit down and think about what I need to ask the divorce solicitor about, what I need to know about the financial side of things, and how best to handle things around the children.
Friday 8th January 2010
Work today. Slept well last night. Had about 30 texts from Dave last night and they were not nice but I understand he’s bitter but don’t think it’s good for the children.
I’m scared and tired tonight. I was doing well until it all just came flooding back to me, God, what a mess, when is it ever going to end?
Emma good and Jack good too.
Saturday 9th January 2010
Jack and Emma seem good today. I felt tired but good today. It’s hard, you go from being on a high to being very low in seconds. Work’s going well and kids seem good too so we all decided it was a nice day and we’d go and have a pizza.
Emma asked if I was going to stay in the house. I said I’d like to but every time I talk to Dave about it he keeps changing his mind so I don’t know where I stand. I’m so confused!