Monday 7th June 2010 Start new job today, got there nice and early and really was nervous but had a great three hours so really like the job. Just need one more and I’m pretty well sorted I think. Emma’s exams are well on the way, she’s having days off in between now. Worked tonight for care home. Quite glad of the peace, it’s like living another world no one knows how bad it is at home so hey ho we’ll live. Tuesday 8th June 2010 Day two of work and still going well....
Monday 10th May 2010 God the weekend went really quickly. I am still tired. Dave came back from his girlfriends and started having a go – good job Emma was out. Job hunting this week again, still never mind soon I’ll be stress free but no money - never mind I’ll live. Browsed through Job Centre Plus but not a lot about. Will need to sort finance this week. Tuesday 11th May 2010 Local paper out today, scanned it for jobs. It’s so difficult – try to work around the ki....
Monday 3rd May 2010 Monday morning and it’s been a really hard weekend. Applied for two jobs this morning hoping to sort better hours and one term time only. Cross my fingers and hope. Emma’s exams have started so she’s really stressed and grumpy - all of us have had our heads bitten off already. Good luck, hope they go well. Jack is struggling as well he’s really tired and feeling a bit in the middle. Wednesday 5th May 2010 Didn’t sleep at all well. Emma’s re....
Monday 19th April 2010 Well good day or bad day, how about both. School meeting - Emma's doing ok. She's finally back on track and exam revisions are going well. Explained to school, sort of, about what's going on and they understood and will keep an eye on her. Jack is doing great and doesn't seem at all affected by it. I just feel numb inside. I really wanted to cry today - but I didn't. Tuesday 20th April 2010 Weeee! I'm on this rollercoaster again. I've woken up feeling really strongly this ....
Monday 12th April 2010 Need to get sorted today unpack packed stuff and sort things out. Emma's gone to school today for revision and help - she seems ok today. Well I'm in bed moping. I'm going to wake up tomorrow and we will have jumped from April to July and exams and yes - I'm free. Selfish I know but this is really hard and it's making me ill. Tuesday 13th April 2010 Well good morning, it's still April good job it's not Friday or I would be in trouble. Had mortgage advisor and estate agent ....
Monday 5th April 2010 Great, bank holiday and Dave's home. Must email Sharon and find out what's what, if I can suspend divorce until after June. Tensions are high in my house. Living with Dave is really hard, but Jack likes it, bless him. Emma's a bit happier today, she thinks me and her dad are trying so she's at least smiling today. Tuesday 6th April 2010 I'm going into the estate agent’s today to cancel the lease on the house and believe me I really don't want to do it. I sat outside t....
Monday 29th March 2010 Well today house is all confirmed for renting. Can't wait, not sure if Emma's going to move with me but we will just have to see. Rent is so expensive, but I can't share a house any longer with Dave. Emma's ok today, she feels a bit tired and is always in her room. I can't believe we're this close to being divorced and so far away too. Tuesday 30th March 2010 Well, what can I say? Solicitor was right, he has every right to move back in but it's bloody awful. I really am st....
Sunday 28th February 2010 Worked today. Left Jack at home with Dave. Jack is happy daddy’s back. I’m definitely not. You can cut the atmosphere with a knife. Dave’s still very angry about the divorce and keeps saying nasty remarks to me. I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me. Went to bed early – I needed the peace. ....
Sunday 31st January 2010 Dave dropped Emma back and Jack – they had a daddy. Good job someone invented texts because I needed to tell him Emma was crying out for help and didn’t want her to really know what I’d said. They came back full of stories and gossip. It was great to see them smile. Went to bed feeling better tonight. Monday 1st February 2010 Mortgage paperwork arrived today. I had to go through them and I need to speak to Dave regarding this. Emma had a good day at sch....
Sunday 24th January 2010 Well, I’m just about to get on my emotional rollercoaster, it’s going to start when he drops Jack back so I’m preparing myself. I’m coming to terms with the fact that he’s moved on and I’m ok about it. For 30 seconds I did think “oh my God, what have I done?” but in my heart of hearts I know it’s right so I’m good. My marriage was over long ago and there is no turning back. Emma is still quiet but she’ll b....
Sunday 17th January 2010 Worked today. Jack still at his dad’s and he rang to ask could he talk to me when he drops Jack back, dreading it at this moment in time. We really need to talk but it always ends in an argument. I asked dad to come round to be a mediator but Dave’s not keen but we need to sort things out. Monday 18th January 2010 Big smile says I’m happy! Talks went well last night – yippee!! We got loads sorted and it’s far easier if there are no arguments....
Sunday 3rd January 2010 Woke up feeling really tired, didn't sleep at all well - woke up 3 or 4 times - I'm worried about it all, money, house, kids, work, and all our future. The more tired I get the worse I feel about it all. Really worrying again, have hardly eaten today, but on a positive note the weight's dropping off! Emma goes out more than ever now, I'm worried about her. I need to seek teenage advice. Monday 4th January 2010 When is it going to end. Spent most of last night arguing with....
Sunday 27th December 2009 Good morning Diary! Well it is a good morning, woke up feeling great. I will write a to-do list today. Divorce solicitor Estate agents Bank accounts Credit cards Cars The contents of the house Dave still here but I'm coping. Emma tearful today, she's trying to be brave and she doesn't need to - God why is this so hard?! Monday 28th December 2009 Emma's talked to her dad today, heard her crying, burst into tears myself. God this is hard! It's going to be New Year soon, s....
Sunday 20th December 2009 Mood - not good today, very tired and Christmas is just round the corner. Feeling sad today, kids have broken up from school and feeling very uneasy. Dave is being aggressive today and finding it hard. Need to sort a divorce solicitor, and house, after Christmas. Emma not really talking much, I found her crying today. Jack is ok. Monday 21st December 2009 Mood - good. Terrible night sleep, was up at least three times. Dave's moving back in on Wednesday just for Christma....