Latest Divorce Diary posts from Family-Lawfirm.co.uk

The divorce and financial settlement start moving

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Monday 28th June 2010

My trusty divorce solicitor Sharon sorted out my financial agreement which was great and I know was hard as she didn’t have all the paperwork or figures so I had to sign a disclaimer which was fine. I was more than happy with Dave’s and mine arrangements.

Sharon sorted out divorce parts too, really helpful as I just don’t know where to start. With Sharon everything’s so professional but friendly too, it’s not like speaking to a Solicitor, she’s just great.

Unbelievable - he says I can keep the house

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Monday 21st June 2010

Appointment with financial advisor today. Going to see what I can afford and what I can’t.

If I can manage £800 rent, surely I can afford a mortgage.

Well, that’s a surprise. Told me to go to the Halifax and apply to take my mortgage over and Dave says I can keep the house so why not. Walked to Halifax, made an appointment for 1.30 today. Well let’s see. In principle they’ve said yes and just need to wait for mortgage offer in writing.

My head is spinning. Help I’m going mad!

Tuesday 22nd June 2010

Today’s not good. Really worried now. Applied yesterday to buy Dave out of the house and change mortgage into my name and really worried if I can really manage. It’s going to be really hard. Dave signed the transfer sheet this morning. God that was easy, no nasty remarks either.

Need to go into office today to sort my hours.

Work has agreed to sort my hours out and make them child friendly.

Yes, yes, yes, haven’t gone down the big dipper yet.

Wednesday 23rd June 2010

Well didn’t sleep well last night, couldn’t believe how things are going. Dreams are really strange, keep dreaming I’m homeless with two kids and four dogs. Really tired and stressed and it’s only 8.45am. Kids are off to school. Emma’s last exam today so things are ok in the house today. Emma’s happy but sad too, last ever day at school.

Jack is quiet this week, feeling tired and hot but he’s ok.

Very tearful last night and just want to curl up and shut myself in a cupboard and stay there for a week.

Thursday 24th June 2010

Working like a mad woman. Really trying to find out what I need to bring in to run this house solely by myself but I’ll manage I know, just really scary.

Got mortgage offer today by phone, nearly fell through the floor I didn’t think I’d get it. Yes, I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sent email to my solicitor, Sharon telling her I got it, yes, can’t believe it, kids are great too.

Friday 25th June 2010

Well still on cloud nine, can’t believe it. Halifax has let me take over the mortgage on my house so oh my God, it’s finally sunk in, we’re staying put.

Spoke to Lynette (the conveyancing solicitor) today to see if she’d received my mortgage offer but she hadn’t so hopefully by Monday.

Kids are good today, chilled and relaxed.

Have you ever sat and wondered why for once everything’s going good, but why is it?

Saturday 26th June 2010

Still working like mad. Still can’t believe I’ve got the house but there’s loads still to sort. I’m on the up. My rollercoaster is running quite smoothly this week, I’m waiting for the big dip but it hasn’t come yet. Today my mortgage offer arrived in the post – yessssss!

I’ve got it in writing, it means the house is mine.

Thanks to Sharon my Solicitor and Lynette my conveyancing one they’ll be really sick of my by now. I’ve got a direct line straight to them I think ha ha ha!!

Sunday 27th June 2010

Up for work at 6.30am this morning, God I’m tired. Don’t know if it’s stress or just ‘oh my God I’ve got a mortgage’.

Dave’s making life quite hard still but signing papers is really good. Kids seem happy we’re staying put but the greys are really showing now, so it’s really going to be hard work from now on.

Don’t imagine how hard it’s going to be. Signed papers for divorce for Sharon and sent them off.

Having to sell my home is breaking my heart

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Monday 14th June 2010

Got to sell this house! I’m sick to death of cleaning. I’ve scrubbed the house every day so surely it doesn’t need cleaning everyday but need to sell it. Got Dave cleaning the windows yesterday so I just need to do the rest. I hate bloody cleaning too but house looks great, shame we’ve got to sell it.

Tuesday 15th June 2010

Estate agent around today. More viewing, lady loved it but can’t sell hers at the moment so don’t really know why she’s looking. Ours will sell even if we have to drop the price.

Dave’s not here tonight he’s working late apparently, have to laugh, he’s such a bad liar.

Takeaway for three then – me and the kids – yummy.

Wednesday 16th June 2010

More viewings and even more viewings. Sick to death of cleaning this house and no-one else helps. I’ve wondered if I’m the only one who lives here.

Fascinated by people’s faces, wonder what they really think of our house, would love to know.

Emma’s exams are still going well so at least she’s happy, not stropping around the house.

Thursday 17th June 2010

Today’s been a very hard day, had loads of viewings for the house and feel really sad, feel quite lonely too. My marriage could be over in a matter of months and it seems such a waste of both our lives. Viewings went well, Emma doesn’t want to move at all, neither do I really but hey ho, haven’t any choice.

Friday 18th June 2010

Emailed Sharon (my solicitor) today to find out about a solicitor to do the house sale, she was great. Explained they don’t do it but gave me a number of a lady that does so Sharon emailed her and Lynette emailed me. It’s great because Sharon just advises me quite calmly what to do and how to do it. It’s been wonderful. Just knowing she’s been there because it hasn’t been the easiest of divorces.

Saturday 19th June 2010

Had loads of viewings today. Estate agents going mad, we’ve got three today. Not sure if I’m happy or sad, but never mind, can’t afford it on my own so what will be, will be. Emma’s just found a job to do around school so she’s feeling really good about herself and Jack is well, just Jack. He’s ok, just muddling along.

Sick of cleaning the house.

Sunday 20th June 2010

Local Raft Race. Gave me a lot of thinking time, as I rowed down the river. It was quite strange. It’s Father’s Day and Dave was being ok. Dave came back from seeing his dad to inform me that I can sign the house over to me, and as it was on the market it’s all mine. Wasn’t sure what I felt (numb was more like it). Don’t quite know why but didn’t argue, sent my solicitor, Sharon, an email to explain. Kids were shocked but I think he’d been thinking about it for a while. Well what can I say?

I just want this divorce over and done with

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Monday 7th June 2010

Start new job today, got there nice and early and really was nervous but had a great three hours so really like the job. Just need one more and I’m pretty well sorted I think. Emma’s exams are well on the way, she’s having days off in between now.

Worked tonight for care home. Quite glad of the peace, it’s like living another world no one knows how bad it is at home so hey ho we’ll live.

Tuesday 8th June 2010

Day two of work and still going well, can’t wait for this week to finish then it won’t feel so new and I won’t be so nervous.

Dave’s in a funny mood. He didn’t come home until late. Wish he hadn’t bothered but he did, what a shame. I could have had a peaceful night.

Wednesday 9th June 2010

Jack has therapist today so me and Jack had a mummy afternoon, it’s really lovely chatting to him and he seems ok really so I’m pleased. Showed Jack where I work, he said could he go to that school, had to explain but I don’t think it sunk in, never mind.

Dave’s girlfriend rang this evening asking for Dave. Said sorry and put the phone down, childish I know but I pay the phone bill so tough.

Thursday 10th June 2010

Really angry inside today, just want this divorce over and done with, I just can’t live like this anymore it’s driving me insane.

Why doesn’t he just bloody well move in with his girlfriend and let me get on with my life, he’s just pathetic. I know we agreed to keep up a front for Emma’s sake, at least until her exams are over but I’m not really sure this is helping anyone.

Emma’s exams are going good today. She’s happy so I’m pleased. I wish my rollercoaster would run off its track and take me somewhere nice.

Friday 11th June 2010

Still not feeling any better today. Hate Dave more than yesterday. Must get over it or it’s going to make me ill and that’s stupid. Pay day today, shall I just say sod it and blow the bloody lot – it would be nice but I better not. A coffee at Costa will just have to do.

Emma’s stropping and not talking to anyone – great – big dipper here I come.

Saturday 12th June 2010

God, another weekend here again. I used to love the weekends now I hate them. Dave’s around most of them and that’s hell on legs believe me. He’ll moan right up until Sunday night, wish he’d go off to his girlfriend’s.

Emma me and Jack went food shopping actually it was great fun. Emma had her happy head on. It got me away from him so I’m really glad.

Sunday 13th June 2010

Sunday morning lie-in disturbed by phone call from work. Someone had gone off sick. I agreed to work, only to escape Dave. I’m really enjoying not having to spend time with him, it’s great. I miss the kids but it’s ok.

Emma’s ok today, Jack is just chilling – all good today.

Finding it hard to keep working with all that's going on

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Monday 31st May 2010

Monday morning again, half term. Lovely – we all can just chill except I don’t really know how to do that anymore, so think I might take up yoga. I’ll probably fall asleep in the class I’m that tired.

Have decided to take up a course at college, try and re-educate myself, try and find a free course too.

Relive my life today!!!!

Tuesday 1st June 2010

Well, Emma’s exams are ¾ of their way through and things are tough today. It’s half term and really had enough and it’s only Tuesday. Working around 30 hour for care home at the moment and just really tired and house has gone on the market and in a few days it will hit the papers and everyone will know. Especially the neighbours, God what am I going to say. It will be sad, they are good neighbours.

Wednesday 2nd June 2010

Signed paperwork with the estate agents to sell the house, and the pictures and leaflet looks great, wish I didn’t have to sell. Took Jack to the play barn to take my mind off of it. There was a group of mates meeting up so can’t want to think of something new.

Emma didn’t want to come so left Emma to revise.

Thursday 3rd June 2010

Worked this morning, Emma babysat Jack for me. She’s so great for that, at least I haven’t got to pay more money out.

Really struggled to work today. My life’s really stressful. I’m trying to be at home for Jack but also keep the house cleaned and being able to afford to keep the house means I’ve got to work at least 30 hours. I’ve seen a few half rent half buy houses I like and can afford them I think.

Friday 4th June 2010

Yes, fantastic, got a phone call today got the job at a school. At lunchtimes 10 hours a week – excellent money and term time only yippee, yippee!!

Well things are starting to look up. All I need is one more and term time only would be fantastic.

Saturday 5th June 2010

Working all weekend and really just need to get out of the house. Don’t know if I’m coming or going and I think the more I think about it the worse it gets so I’m going to stop worrying and I hope what will be will be and it’s a nice place.

Sunday 6th June 2010

Been shopping today ready for new job. Couldn’t really afford it but never mind.

Sorting out somewhere to live is the next big task

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Monday 24th May 2010

Well, Monday again and it’s nearly half way through the year. I just thought if I’d moved into that rented place I’d have lived there nearly a month by now. I couldn’t afford to rent so that’s why I’ve made an appointment with the council to see what they have to say and what my chances are of getting a council house.

Tuesday 25th May 2010

Meeting with council today. I’ve registered and you have to bid on a council house so we’ll see if I can possibly get on. I’m on a good list ‘Bronze plus’ but it’s only middle and I’m about 50th down the list but when the house sells and I’m homeless I’ll get moved down but I have to take what they offer no matter what, and it could be a bad area.

Wednesday 26th May 2010

Dave’s trying to tell me today that when he moves out he’s probably going to move in with his girlfriend. I tried to explain I already knew he would because she wrote it over Facebook and his mum rang to tell me.

Dave’s mum went mad and made her remove it but I don’t really care anymore, I hope he’s happy with her, but just stay away from me. That’s all. Hope Emma didn’t see it.

Thursday 27th May 2010

Too late, she saw it. But I’m so glad she didn’t realise it was her dad moving in with her, she asked her dad who it was and he just said he didn’t know. “What a liar” – it’s ok, I didn’t shout it out, felt like calling him Pinocchio – but I was good, actually bloody good. Just couldn’t stop smiling all day, sorry but it made my day!!!!

Friday 28th May 2010

Friends getting married so Emma and I went shopping for wedding stuff. I wasn’t going to go so that’s why it’s left to the last minute, don’t fancy going really but the kids want me to go so I better. See if me and Dave can have a day of no arguing.

Had early night, me and Jack it was bliss.

Saturday 29th May 2010

Hillary and John’s wedding today. First family do we’ve been to since we split up, everyone was nice but still felt very awkward but I suppose that’s life. Dave’s brother’s ex wife was there too so we sat together and just chatted. Bill felt as awkward as I did so that made me feel a whole lot better.

Sunday 30th May 2010

Day after the wedding – Dave had a very bad hangover and he was unbearable. Just avoiding him, in light of last night’s events I’m not surprised at all that he’s being funny. He probably felt as awkward as I did especially as his girlfriend kept ringing and as he’s trying not to make it too obvious. He just kept trying to ignore this intense buzzing in his pocket.

His 'mistress' is taking the p**s

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Monday 17th May 2010

Monday – I’m chilled and ready for whatever’s thrown at me today. Really just need to get sorted – I hope a job comes along real soon.

Emma is still busy revising and I’m just picking up the pieces – her workbooks were thrown across the room today, maybe it’s not going so well today.

Dave’s back today (oh wish he didn’t).

Tuesday 18th May 2010

Work tonight so its housework and washing today.

Dave’s girlfriend is still trying to speak to Emma on Facebook, that just makes my blood boil. Why can’t his stupid childish girlfriend just leave us alone? If he comes back earlier tonight God help him. I don’t care about him and her, just leave my kids alone, please.

Wednesday 19th May 2010

Still angry today. Can’t believe she’s still trying that, I’ve warned Dave, if it carries on I’ll be ringing her and it won’t be pleasant.

Had to go to Sandra’s today because still really angry and needed to tell someone before I screamed.

Sandra was great, ended up laughing about it in the end.

Thursday 20th May 2010

Feel lonely today, probably because of her and Facebook but feel maybe I’ve just got to try and forget it. It’s hard because Emma just thinks she’s an old school friend of her dad’s not his girlfriend. She’s going to go mad when she finds out.

Oh well, he’ll have some explaining to do won’t he.

Jack is ok today, bit quiet but ok.

Friday 21st May 2010

It’s the weekend again, I suggested to Dave he goes and sorts his girlfriend out or I will. So he can go and spend the weekend with his mates as he calls it so I can forget about it for a while.

Have to work tomorrow so I will have less time to think of this mess we are in.

Emma’s staying with her mates so that’s good too.

Saturday 22nd May 2010

Jack has gone to granddad’s today while I work. Dave’s dad and step mum are great, really do help when I need it so I’m really pleased they haven’t taken sides.

Work was hard today. Just wanted to spend some time with Jack but it’s ok, I know I need to work to sort things out. Finished work, picked Jack up and home. Me and Jack curled up on the sofa eating a Chinese takeaway – this is the life!!!

Sunday 23rd May 2010

Worked today again, grandparents for Jack. At least it’s cheap childcare and Jack loves it so it’s great and they get time to see him.

Found myself very tearful today. I don’t know why really, just too many mixed emotions. Feel sometimes I don’t have anyone to talk to – and feel sometimes like I just really don’t know what to say.

All this change is really distressing

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Monday 10th May 2010

God the weekend went really quickly. I am still tired. Dave came back from his girlfriends and started having a go – good job Emma was out.

Job hunting this week again, still never mind soon I’ll be stress free but no money - never mind I’ll live.

Browsed through Job Centre Plus but not a lot about. Will need to sort finance this week.

Tuesday 11th May 2010

Local paper out today, scanned it for jobs. It’s so difficult – try to work around the kids, Emma great but she can only help a bit and her and Jack clash if they are with each other for too long. Friends have said they will help but it’s really difficult and you don’t want to keep asking plus I need to spend time with Jack.

Wednesday 12th May 2010

School are starting a ‘before and after’ school up in September. Will try and enrol Jack and see what happens, might even apply for a job there. Would be great as term time only.

Emma very tearful today and stroppy. Nothing is going right for her at the moment and she’s struggling but really she’s ok, just panicking.

She’ll be fine tomorrow.

My rollercoaster is making me feel sick. I’m really tired I could sleep for a week.

Thursday 13th May 2010

The stress of it is taking its toll on me, I’m really tired, really stressed and just bite everybody’s head off. Hoping it will sort itself out but not convinced it will. Really don’t know if I’m coming or going, trying to work extra hours but I just don’t want to go either. God life is hard at the moment.

I wonder if Dave thinks the same!!!!

Friday 14th May 2010

Well the weekend’s here again, seem to have gained friends and lost some too, I suppose that’s life.

Emma’s better today, exams are going really well and she’s really happy in which I’m glad. Jack is well, just Jack, doesn’t seem affected by it all in which I’m glad.

Dave’s away all weekend and it’s my weekend off too.

Saturday 15th May 2010

Started emptying the kitchen today of everything we don’t need any more or have two of. Sorted loads for charity shops and loads for the tip. God, didn’t realise I had so much space when the junk’s cleared out.

Sorted tins and jars – oh no, I had a jar in my cupboard dated expired 2004, oh no! Good job I didn’t open it – that’s really bad!

Sunday 16th May 2010

Well had a lovely lie in – it’s been really peaceful without Dave this weekend so really has been nice. Everyone was chilled and relaxed it was just great.

Emma still busy revising, me and Jack just chilled in the garden.

Me and Jack got into my bed at eight o’clock and just chilled and watched telly except by 8.15 he was fast asleep. Love watching him sleep.

How will I finance life as a single parent?

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Monday 3rd May 2010

Monday morning and it’s been a really hard weekend. Applied for two jobs this morning hoping to sort better hours and one term time only. Cross my fingers and hope.

Emma’s exams have started so she’s really stressed and grumpy - all of us have had our heads bitten off already. Good luck, hope they go well.

Jack is struggling as well he’s really tired and feeling a bit in the middle.

Wednesday 5th May 2010

Didn’t sleep at all well. Emma’s revising like mad and very cranky. Everything’s swinging around in my head, really struggling with all the responsibility and sole care of the kids. I know I’ll cope but it’s really scary. I just don’t want to live in a horrible area and have no money, want a bit of a life.

Dave’s being quiet too – when I try and talk to him he just says “whatever”. Never mind, just must be tired.

Thursday 6th May 2010

Very tired today. Dave’s being a nightmare. His girlfriend constantly contacting him, which is ok by me but just don’t do it in front of the kids.

Kids are really struggling today with what’s going on. Emma doesn’t want to move and Jack is really quiet. I think this house is so stressed its difficult for everyone.

Friday 7th May 2010

Dave’s supposed to be having this relationship with this ‘girlfriend’ in secret but Emma really doesn’t believe we’re trying to work at it, we couldn’t be further apart if we tried.

He’s really pushing his luck, if it wasn’t for Emma I’d have kicked him out weeks ago.

Roll on bedtime.

Saturday 8th May 2010

Weekend again and really stressed out. House hunting today to see what I could possibly afford and what they’re like. I’m viewing three half rent half buy and I’m hoping they’re half decent. They are only two bedroom but Emma can have her own room and me and Jack will share.

Not in the area I would like but beggars can’t be choosers. Just want to cry.

Sunday 9th May 2010

Between work and house viewing I’m really tired. One house was lovely, two were terrible. They would have cost a fortune to put right. I know it sounds snobby but I’ve done my house nice and didn’t expect to be single again. Things are getting harder now as Dave keeps going out, telling Emma he’s working, smelling like a tart’s handbag.

Oh well, it’s peaceful anyway.

Living together when you've split up is hell!

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Tuesday 27th April 2010

Spoke about the house sale again, Dave’s not happy with me keeping the house so we will just have to see. Emma’s starting exam revision and mocks hopefully by the end of June she’ll be finished and ready to go and get a job. Have an hours review at work today to try and find out where I stand financially today. Wish me luck!!

Emma’s ok, Jack is good.

Wednesday 28th April 2010

Today tempers are very frayed. Dave is stropping around the house. It’s so difficult to deal with it all – tempers and being so close to everyone rowing you don’t want to be anywhere near each other.

Emma’s quiet, so is Jack, I’m just staying out of the way.

Sorting out clothes and toys when we move we definitely can’t take it all.

Thursday 29th April 2010

Been up in the loft today – really sad. Found a box of old photos. Sat there looking at them in sheer shock, wondering were we happy then or was it an act? I’ll never know I suppose.

Cleared the loft, just counting the days for Emma’s exams to finish.

Went to bed early – couldn’t help thinking about the photos so decided to try and forget about them.

Friday 30th April 2010

The big rollercoaster from hell is back. Dave woke me up at 3am to talk. God I really don’t need this today. All he wanted was to have a go – woke the whole house up and really don’t know what for. So I’m going to stay with dad for a few days I think, try and get out of the way.

Spent the whole day crying, just can’t carry on sharing the house it’s just not working.

Saturday 1st May 2010

Weekend’s here and my life is really bad at the moment. The more I try and stay out of Dave’s way, the harder I get in the way and he just starts again. Spent all afternoon on Job Centre Plus trying to make my money go further or make my job child friendly but had no luck. So need some financial help – do I rent or do I try and buy – can I afford it?

Sunday 2nd May 2010

Packing started and rubbish sorting – need to finish sorting out the garage and sort out car boot stuff, could make a bit of money. Recycling and rubbish sorted.

Well garage and loft sorted and need to start the house. Emma’s room and Jack’s next because I’m never going to fit this lot in to a rented house especially a two bedroom one because that’s all I can afford.

Life is really scary and hard being a single parent.