There are many great resources out there to help people going though – or thinking about – a life-changing relationship break-up. With so many things to consider, from where you are going to live, to what happens to the children, to how will the finances and possessions be split, my belief is that the more support people can get, the better. That’s why we have produced a number of handy reference books for people on divorce, including Surviving Family Conflict and Divorce and Exploring the Myths about Divorce and Separation.
Some of the resources available out there offer practical advice about the process. Others give more generic advice on the best way to deal with the storm of issues that will be thrown at someone during a divorce.
Among the best resources I have come across recently is from Cafcass – the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service – through its Separated Parents Information Programme. This course, supported by a detailed workbook has a wealth of information about children and divorce, as you might expect, and some of which I think I will be coming back to in future blogs. However, some of the advice is excellent whether children are involved or not. Some of these are wrapped up in a suggested “Highway Code” for divorce. (What a fantastic idea!)
These simple bullet points include:
- Think about what you can do and not what your ex-partner should or shouldn’t do
- Focus on what has worked, not on what hasn’t worked
- Remember, small steps can lead to big changes.
These simple nuggets get to the heart of what we believe people should strive towards when going through a divorce. Divorce doesn’t have to be messy/expensive/combative etc – as I have said before in a number of blogs. We should be encouraging people to take an approach that does as little as possible to add to the inevitable heartbreak that goes with family break-up. And that’s even before we get onto the issue of children. Great work Cafcass.