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Family Law Blog

Comment on divorce & family law 

Divorce should be avoided


Some of the things I say don’t make me popular with my peers. Sometimes I think I only get away with them because I am, in seniority if nothing else, in charge at Woolley & Co and often speak at Law Society events on innovation. Sometimes it seems that some people can hesitantly nod in agreement while what they’re really thinking is: “What on earth is he saying?”

I head up a family law firm but I think divorce is bad and should be avoided wherever possible. Morally, most people perhaps would agree. Commercially though it is bonkers to some for me to say this. If this was followed through and there was no more divorce, a huge chunk of my business would be swept away in one shot.

I stand by this though. And so does Peter Andre. Yes, I can reveal today, I have become a converted fan of Peter Andre.

I have criticised the very public divorce he and former wife Katie “Jordan” Price have fought in the papers in the past though, in my defence, I think I was really pointing the finger at her and not my mate Pete. This week though, according to the press, he came out with something very sensible on something she is reported to have said.

I stress here I can only go on what they are reported in the press to have said, as neither is taking my calls so I have been unable to verify the quotes attributed to them.

She claimed that children from broken homes are lucky as they get more presents and holidays and that, provided a divorce happens when they are young enough, they are unaffected by it.

Press Association has reported that he said in response: “I have to say I really don't agree with this. I think that divorce absolutely affects kids no matter what age they are and that if it can be avoided, it should be.”

I have to agree with him. There is overwhelming evidence in my opinion that parents separating has a last impact on their children. This is not always negative, I hasten to add. Many people make the right decision to split up, for the good of everyone involved. However, to suggest that it has no effect is ludicrous. To work at a marriage and to try and avoid divorce if at all possible rather than chuck it in when things don’t go your way – as per the couples in The One Year Itch Cutting Edge documentary on Channel Four this week – surely has to be the right stance?

Indeed our recent Poll found that 89% of people have stayed in a relationship and tried to make it work because of the children.

Well done Pete.

Andrew Woolley
New Pete Fan and divorce solicitor


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Well it is undeniably true that divorce has a lasting effect on all concerned, including the children, it is also true that children raised in homes where there is high conflict, domestic violence or mental instability also has lasting effects, all negative. I don’t think life is as simple and clean cut as we sometimes would like it to be. To make a blanket statement that divorce should be avoided seems rather simplistic.

By Kimberley Kick on Thursday August 5, 2010

When you divorce becasue you are not happy - as if your spouse is responsible for your happiness, that is the wrong reason. You will be divorced and still unhappy and maybe children that suffer the consequences. All the USA research tells us that children suffer as a result of the war mentality in a high conflict divorce. Coopreative divorce, where the parties recognize they will be dealing with each other for the rest of their lives becasue they have children together is preferred.
It is up to the parents to put their children’s needs before their own - a perspective rarely seen. ...

By Nancy Berg on Thursday August 5, 2010

I have to say I agree, but fear that the only way to truly absolutely avoid divorce is to not marry! I’ve been through two divorces, my own and my parents. I say two because as a child of 14 I very definately went through the trauma of my parents’ divorce. It was the memory of this pain that spurred me on to seek a ‘friendly divorce’. Unfortunately, I discovered that my Ex did not share my views and the divorce was anything but ‘friendly’. Circumstances change, people change. Sometimes they lie and cheat and betray their spouse and children, and in these cases it is best for the children concerned that the parties divorce. Hopefully with a decent supportive legal team the best outcome for the kids can be achieved. ...

By Vegemitevix on Thursday August 5, 2010

I think the above comments are fair.
I’d like to make it clear that, despite the heading, I do think that divorce should go ahead when it is not possible to save the marriage but especially when there are children we need to ensure that we help where we can and when it IS wanted, to work on the marriage. I know our family lawyers do this regularly but really wish this was more generally the case….

By Andrew Woolley on Thursday August 5, 2010

What do you think?

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