It is something we have all heard of, but is it a myth or is it prevalent? We are doing some research to find out. Have you or anyone you know stayed married for the sake of the children?
My perception is that a generation or so ago this was relatively common. Couples did stay together, no matter what. Wives and husbands were more likely to remain in unloving marriages for a number of reasons: a feeling that there is no other option, fear of the unknown, or simply because it was the done thing as divorces was a dirty word. Also on that list of reasons would be “for the kids”. There was a sense of duty to give them a real home and a sense of belonging to a traditional family.
Fast-forward then to today and it is a very different picture. No one bats an eyelid at divorce these days. Multiple marriages are commonplace (though not at the same time). Single parent families have little of the stigma surrounding them that there once was. So the landscape is very different. Does that mean then that staying together for the sake of the children is a thing of the past?
I’m torn on this topic and so am really intrigued to see the results of our poll.
On the one hand, children need to be brought up in a calm and loving environment. If a couple would not be together if not for the child being there, they are unlikely to be on the best of terms. Tensions are likely to run high in the home and there could be a strained atmosphere. This does not strike me as the ideal environment in which to bring up a child. However, it does show a commitment from the parents for at least attempting to put the needs of the child first and trying to make it work for the right reasons. And, in an ideal world and taking away all other considerations, would we not think that a two-parent family is the most natural way to raise a child?
The opposing view could be that some parents splitting up gives the children the best chance of growing up in a stable, nurturing atmosphere, free of the inevitable squabbling that will come with a couple held together only by their love for a child and not for each other. Then again, have we just made it too easy for someone to bail out when the going gets tough rather than working at something and coming out with a stronger relationship?
I don’t know the answers but we would love to hear your thoughts on it. Please do let me have your comments and have your say in the poll. I’ll get back to you when the votes are in.
Take our survey - Have you or anyone you know stayed married for the sake of the children