I was a little nervous about typing the "f" word even with lots of * in it! But if it is good enough for a Lord Justice in the higher Courts then I guess it must be good enough for me, too!
He was of course quoting the poet Philip Larkin who said in his poem This Be the Verse:
They f*** you up, your Mum and Dad
They don't mean to, but they do.
They fill you with all the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you
Was he being harsh? He was speaking in a case where the parents had been fighting through Courts for years over contact. The child had certainly been harmed by the acrimony between them. But mothers will say "What can I do if he won't turn up on time / return child on time" and fathers will say "What can I do if she won't allow contact".
We often advise on cases such as these. Really, the only sensible solution is a clear agreement. Our family lawyers pride themselves on keeping most of our divorce clients out of Court and even more parents out of Court on children cases. But, if there is one of the people involved who refuses to take a sensible approach there is little choice but Court action.