When a marriage breaks down, many people ask what are the reasons for divorce, and, of those, which are the most common in the UK? The most frequent causes include unreasonable behaviour, infidelity and affairs, and a lack of communication or emotional connection that can lead couples to grow apart. As solicitors at Woolley & Co, we regularly see recurring patterns behind marital breakdowns.
Although couples in England and Wales no longer need to rely on specific legal “grounds” for divorce since the introduction of no-fault divorce in April 2022 (under the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020), the same underlying reasons for relationship breakdown still occur in practice. The explanations below reflect those historic grounds and the issues that continue to cause marriages to end today.
What are the most common reasons for divorce?
While every break-up is unique, certain causes regularly recur in divorce cases across England and Wales. Below we look at the main themes and how they manifest in practice.
1. Unreasonable behaviour / “irretrievable breakdown”
Under the old system, unreasonable behaviour was the most commonly cited ground for divorce. In 2021, it was used in 43.2 % of opposite-sex divorce petitions according to the office for National Statistics.
Unreasonable behaviour is broad, which is one reason it was so commonly used. Examples include:
- Verbal, emotional or physical abuse
- Excessive drinking or substance abuse
- Refusal to contribute financially or emotionally
- Neglect of children or household responsibilities
- Persistent lying or deception
- Controlling or coercive behaviour
In a no-fault context, the same behavioural issues often underlie the “irretrievable breakdown” of the marriage though they no longer need to be formally pleaded.
2. Infidelity and affairs
Infidelity, whether emotional or physical, remains a powerful catalyst for divorce. An affair often shatters trust, sparking irreparable fractures in the relationship.
3. Lack of communication, emotional disconnection and growing apart
One of the most pervasive, but less headline-grabbing, reasons for divorce is the gradual erosion of connection:
- Communication breaks down: arguments, avoidance, or emotional withdrawal
- Unrealistic expectations of each other
- Growing personal change or diverging goals
- “Falling out of love” or no longer feeling understood
- Feeling lonely in the marriage
These less dramatic causes may not always be legally relevant, but they surface repeatedly.
4. Financial disagreements and money issues
Money often amplifies marital stress. Key triggers include:
- Disagreement over spending and saving habits
- Hidden debts or financial secrecy
- One spouse controlling the finances
- Job loss, downward mobility, or economic hardship
- Disputes over sharing costs or financial responsibilities
When marital finances deteriorate, it often coincides with other breakdowns, resentment, blame, or disillusionment.
5. Addiction, substance abuse and mental health issues
Addiction (to alcohol, gambling, drugs etc.), and untreated mental health challenges can significantly strain a marriage. These often spill into damaging behaviours: unpredictability, lying, withdrawing, or neglecting responsibilities. Many divorces involve these underlying issues, or the impact of coping with them day to day.
6. Domestic abuse and coercive/controlling behaviour
Sadly, abuse, whether physical, sexual, emotional, financial, or coercive control, is a driver of many divorces. For victims, the home becomes unsafe, and separation may be the only way to preserve well-being.
7. Incompatible values, priorities and life changes
Sometimes people simply evolve in different directions. Common divergences include:
- Disagreement over having children, parenting styles, or family planning
- Relocation or career changes
- Conflicting views on religion, lifestyles or social priorities
- Retirement, age, health, or life-stage transitions
- Loss of shared goals or common interests
When partners no longer share a vision for life, the emotional glue dissolves.
8. Separation/living apart (historically used grounds)
Under the old system, couples could petition on the basis of two years’ separation with consent or five years’ separation without consent. While these grounds are now superseded by no-fault procedure, many couples had already drifted apart over time or have even physically separated before taking legal steps.
How trends are changing post-no-fault reform
The shift to no-fault divorce changes the legal form, but not the human motives behind separation. What does this mean in practice?
- Couples no longer risk adversarial disputes over fault.
- The divorce narrative may be less about “who did what,” and more about acceptance that things cannot be fixed.
- Many of the same issues, behaviour, communication, betrayal, still lie under the surface.
- Statistics on grounds will gradually fade, but understanding the reasons for divorce remains critical for legal advice, mediation and reaching agreements.
Why knowing the reasons matters
For prospective clients or couples navigating breakdown, understanding the underlying reasons for divorce helps in several ways:
- Legal strategy and advice – Even in no-fault cases, your relationship history may influence the agreements or orders you need and how you obtain them.
- Mediation and alternative dispute resolution – Understanding emotions and communication styles facilitates mediation and dispute resolution
- Emotional preparation – Recognising patterns offers clarity and can reduce guilt or confusion allowing people to make sensible, future focussed decisions
- Settlement negotiation – Fault, conduct or behaviour can still influence negotiation dynamics, even where not relevant legally
- Post-divorce planning – Insight into causes (e.g. financial mismanagement) helps clients plan their future more securely.
- Safeguarding – reasons for divorce may require formal steps to make sure spouses and children and kept safe and power imbalances can be addressed.
Conclusion
While the legal requirement to give reasons for divorce has now been removed in England and Wales, the real-world reasons behind marital breakdown remain remarkably consistent. Unreasonable behaviour, conflict, infidelity, communication breakdown, financial strain, personal change, and in some cases abuse or addiction, still drive people to seek a fresh start.
At Woolley & Co, we believe that an empathetic, informed approach, one that recognises both the legal and human sides of divorce, is essential. If you or a loved one are considering divorce, understanding the forces at work is a powerful first step.
Our divorce lawyers nationwide are here for you
We know what a challenging time going through a divorce can be. Our team is here to guide you and make this process as simple and stress-free as possible while making sure you get the best outcome for yourself and your loved ones.
To take advantage of your free 30-minute initial call with our expert divorce lawyers to talk through your situation, call 0800 321 3832, or complete our quick online form.
Michelle Brammer
Divorce and Family Lawyer, Melbourne, Derbyshire
