1. TRY TO REMEMBER that you are still both parents of the children even if you are divorcing and that the children need you both. “What is best for the children in this situation” might be a useful guide to remember when perhaps tempted to respond to a spouse who might be doing everything they know that annoys you!
2. TALK to each other and especially to your children. If you have a specialist family lawyer they’ll be able to help you find a specialist counsellor in any children issues that arise. But your lawyer will have had years of experience in just this very situation and can often be very helpful with suggestions.
3. DIARY. Keep a diary which you both can access (maybe keep it on-line?) where agreed dates for children being places can be kept and also who collects, when, how, where are they going and how to contact in emergency are all stored. This will really help keep avoidable problems to a minimum.
4. ACCEPT that there will be problems and misunderstandings but try to keep the “end goal” in sight of having the children grow up with a solid foundation of parents who care about them and who they can see can face and resolve problems in life.
5. DON’T go to Court unless you have to. It is expensive and tends to be a very blunt instrument for dealing with these issues. Obviously we’d all be in Court immediately in the cases where our children need protection but in most cases discussion and restrained negotiation are best. And don’t use the children as pawns, they do realise later and react against it.
For advice on your specific case contact Woolley & Co on 0800 321 3832 or book an initial free appointment here.