“Amicable” and “divorce” may not seem to belong in the same sentence, and emotions will be running high. But approaching the legal process in a practical, cooperative way saves time, money and further heartache. This guide explains how an amicable divorce works in England and Wales, what it costs, and six steps that make it more likely.
This guide covers divorce in England and Wales.
The short answer. An amicable divorce is one where you and your spouse work together to end the marriage and agree your finances and arrangements for any children without unnecessary conflict or contested court hearings. In England and Wales, no-fault divorce means neither of you has to take the blame and you can apply jointly. Most issues can then be settled through negotiation or mediation and made legally binding with a consent order.
Michelle Brammer explains how to get an amicable divorce
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What is an amicable divorce?
An amicable divorce, in England and Wales, is one where both spouses agree to end the marriage and work together to settle the finances and arrangements for any children, avoiding unnecessary conflict and contested court proceedings.
You do not have to be friends. It means dealing with the practical issues cooperatively, through discussion, solicitor-led negotiation or mediation, rather than asking a judge to decide.
Is it possible to have an amicable divorce?
Yes, and increasingly it is the norm. No-fault divorce, introduced in April 2022, means neither spouse has to “take the blame”, a divorce can almost never be contested, and you can apply together. Our guide to no-fault divorce explains the rules.
How does an amicable divorce work?
There are two parts: the application that ends the marriage, and the separate agreement about your finances and children.
- Talk to your spouse first. An application they were not expecting is one of the quickest ways to create conflict. Decide together whether to apply jointly.
- Apply online. The court fee is £628. UK: apply for a divorce
- Use the 20-week wait before you can apply for a conditional order to agree your finances and arrangements for children.
- Apply for the conditional order.
- Make your financial agreement binding by asking the court to approve a consent order.
- Apply for the final order, at least six weeks and one day after the conditional order, ideally once your consent order is approved.
If you need help reaching agreement, a mediator can act as a neutral third party and help you talk through each decision. You will usually need to attend a mediation information meeting before applying to court about finances or children. See how divorce mediation works.
6 steps to an amicable divorce
These are tips we have picked up over many years. It takes two, so it may help to share them with your soon-to-be ex.
Step 1: Don’t try to get revenge
Trying to “take them for all they are worth” is unlikely to get you the result you want, and it adds bad feeling, time and cost.
Step 2: Keep talking
Refusing to talk means everything goes through solicitors, which costs more. If you have children, you will still be co-parenting, so keep communication open.
Step 3: Leave the children out of it
Never use children as pawns or turn them against the other parent. They deserve a relationship with both of you, and a written parenting plan can help you agree the practical arrangements.
Step 4: Be open about money
Give full and honest financial disclosure and expect the same. Agreements based on partial information often unravel later, as our article on how proper structure prevents future disputes explains.
Step 5: Be understanding, and get support
Your ex may be at a different emotional stage from you, particularly if you started the process, so listen to their concerns. Lean on friends, family or a counsellor for your own support.
Step 6: Make it legally binding
An informal agreement, however friendly, can be challenged later. A consent order gives you both certainty and can be enforced if either of you does not stick to it.
How much does an amicable divorce cost?
The divorce court fee is £628, which you can share on a joint application, and a consent order costs £62. Mediation and legal fees are much lower when you agree the issues rather than argue about them. Our guide to the cost of divorce sets out what to expect.
Can you stay friends after divorce?
Sometimes, and many clients tell us they get on better with their former partner than they did at the end of an unhappy marriage. Couples who manage it tend to:
- not argue over the little things, such as who gets the saucepans
- put the children’s wellbeing first
- stay reasonable about arrangements for children and possessions
- accept the decision if the relationship is over
It is not always possible, particularly after an affair or abuse, but a civil relationship matters most for parents, who will be linked for years to come.
What if your divorce stops being amicable?
If your ex is being unreasonable, rise above it and stay calm. All Woolley & Co lawyers are members of Resolution, whose Code of Practice commits us to a non-confrontational approach, so we will try negotiation, collaborative law or arbitration before court.
If you are experiencing threatening or abusive behaviour, get advice straight away.
Has your divorce become difficult, or are you worried it will? The earlier you instruct a lawyer, the easier it is to get things back on track. Speak to our divorce lawyers
Frequently asked questions
What does amicable mean in a divorce?
An amicable divorce means ending the marriage cooperatively, without unnecessary conflict or contested court hearings. It does not mean you have to agree on everything straight away or stay friends.
What is the biggest mistake in an amicable divorce?
The biggest mistake is agreeing your finances informally without full disclosure or a consent order. It leaves you open to claims and disputes later.
Do you need a solicitor for an amicable divorce?
You do not legally need a solicitor, but independent advice before you finalise your financial agreement is strongly recommended. A lawyer can also draft the consent order so the court approves it.
How long does an amicable divorce take?
An amicable divorce takes at least 26 weeks in England and Wales, because of the waiting periods before the conditional and final orders. Agreeing finances can add a few months.
Talk to Woolley & Co Solicitors about achieving an amicable divorce
For a free 30-minute consultation about keeping your divorce amicable, call 0800 321 3832 or complete our quick online form.
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Michelle Brammer
Divorce and Family Lawyer, Melbourne, Derbyshire
Written by Michelle Brammer, chartered legal executive. Michelle is a divorce and family lawyer based in Melbourne, Derbyshire. She qualified as a legal executive in 1997 and is recognised as a Recommended Lawyer by Legal 500 and Chambers and Partners.
This article explains the law of England and Wales. Divorce is dealt with differently in Scotland and Northern Ireland. It is general information, not legal advice on your circumstances.
Last reviewed: 27th October 2026
