Divorce advice for dads from fathers and family lawyers Andrew Robotham and Nick Wiseman.
Many fathers, husbands come to see me and seem to have this common misconception that they are immediately at a disadvantage. That’s not the case, the Courts look at both husbands and wives equally. A lot of husbands think for example they are going to suffer financially, that the divorce is going to be the end of everything as far as financial issues are concerned, that is not the case. Again a lot of them take the view that they are never going to be able to look after the children full time because they are at a disadvantage there, that’s untrue, or that they are not going to get to see plenty of the children. I always try and reassure fathers that’s not the case. The way the Courts look at it is completely equal between husband and wife.
The advice I would give to a father before he approaches a divorce, although a lot of this advice would qualify for both husband and wife, but particularly for a father, think carefully and listen before you act. There is a lot of emotion involved and that can lead to aggression. Aggression may not be helpful either directed towards the wife or indeed her solicitors. Also where there are children involved, try not to involve the children. They are children after all and not adults and it may not be appropriate to have adult conversations with them. Of course you should explain there is likely to be a change in circumstances, but reassure them that you will always be there for them, you will be their dad.
Don’t take advice from your best mate down the pub. Always talk to a specialist because they can advise you what you are legal rights are and tell you the likely outcomes. And the most important piece of advice which I would give which I give to all clients is the more you can agree the better.
For more on this topic read our blog Practical tips for separated dads (and mums).