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Family Law Blog

Comment on divorce & family law 

“The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce”

Reconciliation is always on the mind of divorce solicitors. If our client is the person starting off the divorce it won't surprise you to learn that they tend to be disinterested! But we will discuss it.

Of course the person starting has often had weeks, months and maybe years to come to the decision. The other spouse has often had a few days! It does surprise me how often people try to pressure that spouse into making decisions whilst still in shock. Dangerous stuff in my view--for them, their spouse and indeed their lawyers. Minds often change and priorities certainly do when they get more used to the idea and find their inner strength to cope.

Lawyers have to take great care in these cases and also withstand some heavy criticism at times for "deliberately delaying things". But if it is in the best interests of their client and their client wishes it, they should delay for as long as they can. If they can do this I have found two main things often come from it:

1. a good (for both) out of Court  divorce settlement
2. a reconciliation or at least a proper exploration of the possibility

We provide and signpost a lot of divorce support and hope our clients use them. A reconciliation should surely always be explored, indeed divorce lawyers have to sign to certify whether they have discussed it before starting the divorce proper.

“The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce” is not a new idea, that is a quote from Miguel de Cervantes, a writer from the 16th centruy! True, I suspect too!

Andrew Woolley
Divorce solicitor


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